Oscars, how do I love thee? Let me blog the ways!

Ah, the Oscars...What do they stand for? OVEREXPOSED STARS CAN ACT REALLY STUPID...but that would be the theme for stars on TMZ. Not the Oscars...they have class, yo. So what do the Oscars stand for me? Fashion, frivolity (with class remember), honoring the good work celebrities do in the cinematic world (deserved or not), ...it stands for something I love. Do I heart the Oscars? Yes! With all my heart? Yes! So much so, that I sit on my couch for 5-6 hours with my eyes glued to the set. And a pen (or in the case of this year, a mechanical pencil) and notebook.

So on to my annual blog...yes, annual...been doing this since 2006. First on MySpace, then on Facebook, and now on blogspot (which if you are reading this, had to go on Facebook anyways). It's something I really enjoy doing. Giving my opinions, whehter or not one might agree with them. Telling you what I think sucked or didn't suck.

Oh, the blog, right! Here you go!



MERYL STREEP: A Vassar girl playing a Smithie (the real Julia Child is a member of the Smith College Class of 1934)! Please win! Please win! Smithies will thank you. (OK, she didn't but you have to admit, she really played her to a tee-voice, looks,etc.)

KATHRYN BIGELOW: if she beats her ex-husband (James Cameron) for Best Director, now that is revenge. If she wins for best picture, then that's the ultimate revenge. The 'suck-it' kind of revenge. (And she did, win, that is, for both)

IT'S NOT GONNE BE OSCAR NIGHT WITHOUT...the Barbara Walters special. I'm really going to miss this part of the Oscar festivities. How are they gonna fill those big shoes? Please Barbara, don't go!

MO'NIQUE-doesn't believe in shaving her legs. Not trying to judge, but why and ewww!! (note to self: get more razors..legs are starting to feel bristly)

REALLY, BARBARA, REALLY?: She's getting sick of her special. Really, Barbara, really? The world isn't...ABC isn't...why do you think they let her do it for almost 30 years? But really, Barbara, really? You're getting sick of it because of stairs? I know she's getting up there in years...but...stairs? (Pausing with a quizzical look on my face) STAIRS? How bout stand on a flat surface and walk around? That'll work.

SANDRA BULLOCK: How can you not love her? The critics hated her purple number she wore to the Golden Globes. But I loved it. And her Oscar number, even better!

AND THE 'AND YOU ARE' AWARD: goes to that dude from Entertainment Weekly cohosting the awards preshow with Kathy Ireland...and , crap, who was the other person? Ohwell, had no idea who he was!

SANDRA BULLOCK, LOVE YOU MORE BECAUSE: You want to eat a juicy burger after the show? Now that's a woman! Screw the Hollywood ideal of eating no food, this girl wants to eat some REAL food...No celery sticks for her!

MAGGIE GYLENHAAL (sp?): her brother is hot (what, he's younger, so-there are some hot younger-than-me celebrities). But her dress, was not!...Looked like a beach towel..was she headed there after the ceremony or something

MATT DAMON: he's from Boston and still has that fading-but-still-there Beantown accent. *swoon*

RYAN REYNOLDS: another younger-than-me but HOT celebrity (only by 6 weeks)..let me hug you...you Canadian (from British Columbia-he is in those Visit B.C. ads, ya know) Catholic (I read somewhere he was raised this) cutie (nuff said)

CASABLANCA: last time that 10 films were nominated for BEST PICTURE was 1943 (the year my grandma and late grandpa Carmody were married)...This picture won that year...I have NEVER seen this picture. Maybe a few bits here and there. But not in it's entirety. I know, I should see this...need to put in my Netflix queue.

JENNIFER LOPEZ: your dress...can you move in it? Yes! Can people avoid tripping over it? Heck no! Her hubby Marc Anthony did. Come to think of it, EVERYONE did! I was waiting to hear 'pop, pop' because it looked like bubble wrap.

SARAH JESSICA PARKER: Hair? Could have been better! Dress not as good...overall, she looked really anorexic. Eat something, girl!

TINA FEY: I bow to you! All Hail Tina!

'REFERENCE OF CORN' AWARD: goes to Kathy Ireland when talking to Miley Cyrus...'you have the best of both worlds'...hahaha! You're so funny! hahaha!

GABOUREY SIDIBE: didn't see 'Precious' (so I can't give my personal opinion on her performance). But I love her already for this reason: people seem to have trouble pronouncing her name. And I, Valsox, have a last name (scroll up a bit to see my last name) that no one can pronounce (or spell) correctly...It's been said every which way possible; and spelled every which way possible (you should see my mail).

'YEAH, WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE AWARD?'--goes to Neil Patrick Harris. Emmy's were 6 months ago...but someone had to do it. Maybe Hugh Jackman could have made a quick appearance for this, but I guess, NPH was the go-to man for opening song and dance number this year.

STEVE MARTIN AND ALEC BALDWIN: Steve has hosted the Oscars before (most recently in '08 was it?) and Alec hasn't..was a little skeptical for Alec..But I must say both did a great job. And why did I think there would be a third person hosting? Where did I hear this from?

'20% VIEWING RECORD' CONTINUES: FOR the past 67 years, only 5 films have been nominated for Best Picture. I usually see about 1 of them..hence the '20%' reference just made. But this year, there were 10 pics nominated. And continuing with Valsox Tradition, I have seen 20% of them...saw 'Up In The Air' (really good flick, makes you question your purpose in life and what you really should be doing with yourself), and 'Up'. that's 2 out of 10...for you math dunces, that's 20%.

DON'T CALL HER DAMN...Helen Mirren does not need to have the word damn associated with her at all...call her Dame Helen Mirren, not damn, whoever it was that said this

'LET ME PUNCH YOU' AWARD: goes to George Clooney...he looked like he was about to punch Alec Baldwin, Steve Martin, and anyone else who uttered his name.

'LOOKS LIKE DENNIS, MY FORMER B&N BOSS, AWARD': GOES to Stanley Tucci (other past winners have included Moby and Michael Stipe from R.E.M.)

'LOOKS LIKE MY BROTHER AWARD': this year's winner: Woody Harrelson...the eyes especially. (Past winners for this award include Dirk Nowitzki from the Dallas Mavericks, and Chris Martin from Coldplay

TIME FOR MY OBLIGATORY 'UP' REFERENCE: such a cute movie, so cute, so adorable, so...SQUIRREL! (if you haven't seen this movie, you should...it's really good...warning: you will probably shed a tear at the opening).

JASON REITMAN: I said this about him at the Golden Globes and I'll say it again..he looks like Dave Grohl's (from the Foo Fighters) and Jason Lee's love child.

ZOE SALDANA: her dress..so purply, so poofy..so awful!

'WASN'T THAT HOWARD WOLOWITZ?': they showed a montage of 'A Serious Man' during the show..and there was brief clip of Simon Helberg (who plays 'Howard Wolowitz' on 'Big Bang Theory')..

RACHEL MCADAMS: Dress looked ok...the only problem with it was the pattern...look like the pattern you'd see on a couch at a therapist's office..

THE GUY FOR BEST ADAPTED SCREENPLAY: some people might say or criticize him for not saying enough..but if you were up there accepting an award, you'd draw a blank, too!

MO'NIQUE: she had the best accpetance speech of the night: I might be screwing up the word order but here's what she said 'It can not be about the performance, and not the politics...you have to forgo doing what's popular in order to do what's right'...couldn't have said it better myself.

THE 'OMG ! LIKE, IT'S...' AWARD: Kristin Stewart and Taylor Lautner...here's what every teen was probably thinking (that is if any were watching)...'OMG...Like that's Bella...and (scream) Taylor Lautner...Jacob! He's so HOT!!! Jacob, I love you' (kissing TV).

AND THE 'LOOKS LIKE ME' AWARD: goes to Anna Kendrick...well, I think she does..

'HERE'S AN OSCAR...AND WHAT THE HECK, HERE'S A HAIRBRUSH, TOO': the guy accepting the award for sound editing, mixing, making...it was somethign to do with sound, I know that....dude, got a Russell Brand thing going there or something?

CHARLIZE THERON AND HER DRES: Looked like squigly bullseyes were covering her boobs.

AND THE POOFINESS CONTINUES: Screw the poofiness of Zoe Saldana's dress, Elizabeth Banks' dress was even more poofy!

'WTF' AWARD: goes to the dance troupe number...YEAH, what the heck was that?!?!?

WHERE'S A DROOL CUP WHEN YOU NEED ONE?: Bradley Cooper & Gerard Butler presenting together? HELLO!

'LOOKS LIKE DR. DAVIS, MY DENTIST' AWARD: goes to Eli Roth...my dentist looks like a cross between him and the metereologist for the Telemundo station here in D/FW (I believe the weather guy's name is Ariel Rodriguez)

AVATAR: it's an epic, it's a love story...it's a movie I haven't seen yet...and I don't intend to.

MORE RIDGE-Y THAN A POTATO CHIP AWARD: goes to Vera Farmiga's dress... how much more crinkly can you get thatn what she wore?

BEST DRESSED AWARD: GOES TO Kate Winslet...she really was the best dressed star! I want that dress!

Well, there you have it, my Oscar blog..hope you enjoyed it! Feel free to comment!

Til next time amigos!

Valsox :)